Some friends of ours from the swinging world recently delved into the world of clit suckers with the Lelo Sona Cruise Sonic Clitoral Massager. It started with Mr Fab Vicar writing a review but ended up being so much more! One for fans of DIY, erotic writing as well as sex toys. Oh and spoiler alert - I think the Sona Cruise hit the spot......several times.
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Well…….
I bought this as a surprise for t.f.m.v (the future Mrs Vicar) not really knowing anything about the sonic stuff apart from they make toothbrushes out of it and it is supposed to feel like cunnilingus and, even though I personally have never experienced being given cunnilingus and there was neither a bristle or flappy bit in sight, I thought why not?
We had a child and commitment free evening and were looking forward to some very much wanted uninhibited naughtiness and kink, so I decided (in a really manly way) that I needed to build a bathroom cabinet, a 45 minute job, then have a bath before leading t.f.m.v upstairs and showing her the path to heaven.
Three hours later I had just cleaned the last of my blood from the slightly wonky but perfectly useable cabinet and returned downstairs to find t.f.m.v asleep on the settee, notepad and pen beside her and documentaries about women who had “not” gotten away with killing their husbands playing on a loop.
I took the opportunity to do some of that positive suggestion stuff I had recently learned about in a copy of Woman’s Own that I had come across whilst waiting for a new glass eye at the local Taxidermists and whispered “You are a very lucky girl” into her ear several times before waking her.
Needless to say I was a little surprised and disappointed when she awoke that not only had the suggestion stuff clearly not worked but also, that even though it was only 11pm, she was grumpy, complained of being tired and was completely and selfishly uninterested in my description of how I built the cabinet and cut my fingers.
We had a cup of tea and a small slice of Lemon Drizzle and then I rushed upstairs with the concept in mind of a fiendishly good plan that would not only warm the cockles of her heart but might get me a few brownie points too, cos I suspected that, for some reason I couldn’t fathom, I was in the doghouse.
A quick shower, a double dab of Joop in all the right spots, and I gently called downstairs to her “Oi! are you coming to bed or what?” Moments later I heard the downstairs bathroom door slam close and knew I had a couple of minutes.
Before building the cabinet, I had unpacked Lelo from its very posh box and put her on charge, so I unplugged her, hid her beside the bed, laid an extra sheet (t.f.m.v has a wonderful talent for squirting), put the pillows in a V, Chris de Burgh on Alexa and lay naked and provocative waiting for the rhythmic thud of her dainty footsteps as she trudged upstairs.
To my disappointment, she selfishly and unappreciatively bypassed the upstairs bathroom and new cabinet, having brushed her teeth downstairs, only just giving me time to perfect my 1970’s album cover pose as she opened the bedroom door.
Even without the Stetson hat, thick moustache and white tiger on the bed beside me, I reckoned I probably still looked proper sexy.
Laid full length, legs crossed keeping my manhood provocatively out of sight, my arm bent holding my head in place and the leopard print fluffy pillow against my chest is always a great pose.
I suspect that it was the pleasantness of the surprise that got the better of her as all she could do was say “Really?”
Unperturbed, I held out a blindfold that I had cleverly concealed on the end of my finger and smiled suggestively as she huffed and began removing her pink velour.
Moments later t.f.m.v was laid naked against the pillows with an expression on her face that said “Get on with it or else” and I was thinking that if I had actually followed the instructions in order and built piece 4 before piece 6 I could have saved half an hour on the cabinet.
I reached over and began to apply the blindfold, the building sense of eroticism and excitement only spoiled by the pulling of her hair and getting it caught in the elastic, my quick “Fuck! Fuck!” soon de-escalated the situation and t.f.m.v was finally ready for her very special journey.
I walked to the bottom of the bed and placed my hands around both of her ankles.
Palms and fingers spread apart applying light pressure, being careful not to tickle as I traced the hardness of her shins and wonderful curves of her smooth calves.
Feeling and caressing her skin with slow gentle circular strokes, allowing my hands to run without friction, creating unrushed pleasing sensations intended as much to relax as excite as my attention travelled to and behind her knees.
After walking around the bed, I transferred all my attention to her left leg, moving past the knee my touch travelled up the outside of her thigh, traced along her hip to her belly, I leaned forward and kissed her cool dry skin leaving a small wet trace before catching it with the tip of my fingers as they travelled back down the inside of her thigh back to her knee.
I gently gestured with a touch behind the knee and she allowed me to bend her leg, spreading the thigh and opening her womanhood to my view.
I briefly touched her most intimate place, feeling a warmth and a wetness before walking around the bed and repeating the tracing and gesturing with her right side.
I opened her right leg and held her in place for a few moments taking in both the beauty and vulnerability of her nakedness.
Her dark hair framing her now slightly nervous face, the line of her neck and slope of her shoulders. Her ample breasts creating a curve Henry Moore would have been envious of and her wonderful, now erect, nipples adding to the landscape of mother nature at her very best.
As my gaze passed to her tummy, I saw her breathe, a single slow breath in and out and thanked all the gods and smiled knowing that, even though I am unworthy, for some reason they and she have chosen me, I had to lean forward and kiss her. T.f.m.v responded and I almost lost myself in her, my hand travelled automatically to her pussy and as I gently stroked her she gasped.
I pulled away from her and retrieved Lelo, as I got back onto the bed I lifted t.f.m.v’s hand and let her hold the soft pliable device. As she felt its pebble-like shape, I could see puzzlement on her face and I smiled in anticipation as I took Lelo back and switched her on.
I was not sure what to expect, a hiss of air and bright light announced it was working, I put it to t.f.m.v’s clitoris and her response was instantaneous. Her body jerked and spasmed, she gasped and drove herself back into the bed clutching the sheets. I moved Lelo to her labia, touching the skin there gently but then applying more pressure, the hissing noise changed to a low rasping and I found it almost impossible to keep Lelo in one place as t.f.m.v could not keep still. Her hips raising, legs opening and closing, her bottom was buried deep into the mattress, her breaths were coming in short sharp gasps and I knew that she was already building to orgasm.
I pulled Lelo away from t.f.m.v and was immediately told “No”.
I quickly reapplied it but this time on the entrance to her vagina which was slippery, warm and wet.
“Up” came the gasped instruction.
I lay between t.f.m.v’s legs and raised Lelo back to her Labia and watched as the first trickle of her cum began to flood the drawsheet. Careful to leave Lelo exactly where it was, I moved up the bed and knelt beside t.f.m.v. My erection touching her breast I reached out and removed the blindfold just in time to see her eyes roll up into their lids and her aura expand.
I love to watch and feel my lady cum, not just the actual physical escape of liquid but the whole experience, it is pure, beautiful and uplifting, and it is where I truly see “her”. A shimmering sliver of light surrounded her and as wave after wave of orgasm devoured her whole body. I looked and saw deep inside her soul, no filters, no inhibitions, nothing to prove or hide, just her, the woman I love more deeply than I thought possible, as innocent, vulnerable and strong as anyone could possibly be.
As the orgasms subsided, I took Lelo away, put my arm under her neck and lay closer to her, holding her, feeling her body shake, feeling her breathing slow and the wetness of her perspiration against my body. I brushed her hair with my fingers and allowed her to settle a little before putting my mouth to hers. We began to kiss wetly and deeply, my movements mirroring hers, our lips touching lightly, our tongues meeting from time to time.
I moved Lelo back to the clitoris and put my hand to t.f.m.v’s throat and gently squeezed and she looked into my eyes, nothing had to be said. The trust and love she placed in me was obvious. Her choice to accept me as her master has always astounded me as she is strong, confident, intelligent, humorous and understanding but she also has the need to be owned, chastised and punished at times and I do understand this. I squeezed a little harder knowing that this would heighten her pleasure and reached down between her legs with Lelo again.
T.f.m.v gasped as the sensation on her sex changed and she anticipated and felt a new wave begin to form, I knelt up, wet my finger with precum from the end of my manhood and began to wetly trace the outline of her erect nipple, she resumed her moaning, a sound of joy, a sound of excess and exertion but most of all a sound of pleasure and then I lost her once again….
I lay my body across hers and felt her left arm immediately come around me, her nails found my back and she drove them deeply into my skin, the burn was immediate as she dragged them down from my shoulder to buttock.
This was my penance, a flagellation that I not only deserved but welcomed. The pleasure inflicted upon her had to be paid for and I was more than happy to foot the bill and leave a tip, Lelo was costing me dear and worth every penny.
T.f.m.v was in her own world and taking me along for the ride, I knew it couldn’t last much longer so I closed my eyes and concentrated on the here and now. T.f.m.v muttered something and I could not understand.
“Again” I instructed her
Another murmur I couldn’t understand. Just to be safe “What colour do you see?
“Amber” came the muffled reply
“Would you like me to carry on?”
“I don’t know” came the exhausted reply.
Feeling t.f.m.v’s wetness coat my fingers from around Lelo I knew she had come a lot so pressed a button and changed the setting, the noise of the air went from constant to intermittent and t.f.m.v began to come back, the spasms began to slow, the moaning lessened in volume and her eyes began to clear, I moved Lelo back from her clitoris to her Labia and was very gently told “No”
Discretion been the better part of valour I turned Lelo off, placing it on the bed and lay next to t.f.m.v. I put my arms around her and held her warm, clammy, beautiful body until the waves finally dissipated. Afterwards as she lay with her head on my chest I asked her to describe Lelo and her answer was simply…..”Fucking Awesome”
So that’s how Lelo got me out of the doghouse and the future Mrs Vicar’s review is quite simple, It’s Fucking Awesome.
Several words of caution though:
1. Make sure the windows are tightly closed.
2. It might be an idea to have an ambulance on standby just in case.
3. Make sure this is about the lady you are with - if you are expecting anything but blissful cuddles after a Lelo orgasm, you’re going to be disappointed.
4. When building a bathroom cabinet follow the instructions, just trying to follow the picture on the front of the box can lead to time consuming and painful mistakes.
5. Lelo, when placed against the body in a certain way can sound like the lovechild of a two stroke engine and The Phantom Raspberry Blower of old London Town. It is not a loud sound but if you have people in the next room and the walls are paper thin either send them to the pictures or put them into a home depending on their ages.
6, T,f,m,v has decided that she might need a Lelo for the car, another for work and another for the gym. Apparently, the supermarket can “get a little boring too” and I have not to forget when the dog goes to the vets. Good job there is 5% off at the moment, I wonder if I could buy shares? It might be cheaper.
Anyway we still have 6 setting to explore. I have no idea how it works technically, no idea what it does or how it does it but I’m bloody glad I bought one.
B.T.W. She quite likes the cabinet.
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Please comment below with your own experiences with clit suckers, clitoral vibrators more generally or any of the wonderful products from the Lelo range which you can see by clicking here. DIY tips on bathroom cabinets also welcome.
