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Attracting a sexual partner - turn on's and turn off's for swingers

Posted by Mr Betty on

How to excite a sexual partner...or quickly ruin things :) 

We recently had a bit of fun with about twenty swinging friends, ranging from late 20's up to late 50's, going through turn-on's and turn-off's. We thought we'd share the results - it's a pretty liberated group of people but amongst the kink lots of common sense vanilla answers. Guys - what the hell is it with socks in bed?! :)

Before reading more try this yourself....write down 2 or 3 things you find a turn-on and 2 or 3 that are a turn-off. How much do you have in common with a large group of swingers?! 

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Make sure you've written down your's :) 

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Most common turn-on's

Well you might think with a bunch of swingers there would lots of comments on physical appearance - big boobs, big cock, curvy bum etc. - but nope very few. Us swingers are not such a shallow bunch! :)  

The most common answers centred more or intelligence, sense of humour, charm and generally being a decent person. The old adage that the brain is the most important sexual organ holds true even for swingers and if any of you have been on say Fabswingers.com you will well understand this. Even for club-goers, you might just wander into a dark orgy room, but most still want a little chat and connection before playtime. 

Oral sex featured often of course and not many of us don't like that. Men particularly get turned on by eye contact while receiving a blow-job. However, not many ladies mentioned this specifically as one of their big turn-ons - kissing, nibbling and generally sensual foreplay comes very high on the list.  

Some others...and ladies seem much more expressive than men :) 

Men - nails in back, bums and thigh high boots, role play, vintage lingerie, neck and ear kisses and nibbles, sexy lingerie, giving full body massage, squirting, filthy talk.

Ladies - ear nibbling, anal fingering, watersports, shirt and boxers, stimulating conversation, naughty twinkle, rope, nice eyes, naughty talk, knowing I've turned somebody on and they want me, watching and hearing a lady orgasm, doggy style, twinkly eyes, being slowly undressed while having neck kissed, when a man involuntarily moans with pleasure when I'm doing something, a man who knows what he is doing with toys and goes for it.

 

Most common turns-off's

OK there is was a universal no-brainer here and it is surprising how many have had bad experiences, male and female. Of course it is bad smells, bad breath and poor general hygiene! So brush your teeth, buy some deodorant and make sure you have a good wash down below :) It so obvious really but you can lead a horse to water...

A close second was having no sense of humour and personality along with just being selfish. So many people are very-self centred when it comes to chat and this spills over in sex in many cases. People find me me me sex a big turn-off. 

Smoking also a big turn-off for most and not surprisingly scat. A few others...

Men - non-trimmed down below, loud behaviour, drugs, using spit as lube, rimming (surprising as many like), heavy make-up, swearing, arrogance, being pushy, extreme pain, bad attitude, a lady who doesn't know what she wants, poor choice of underwear, sounding (not many get turned on by that!), septum piercing. 

Ladies - gratuitous cock pics, hairy toes, no foreplay, text talk, hun, babe, over confidence/cocky, arseholes that couldn't fuck properly if they tried, socks on in bed, overtly muscular, being told I am going to be made to gag or face fuck, smelly cock, being disrespected or degraded. feet, gags, bellybuttons, going straight for my clit, calling me demanding names such as whore, bitch, slut

 

More kinky turn-on's

Well a group of swingers, so most get turned on by threesomes, foursomes and the idea of taking part in group orgies, even if hard to do for many or perhaps wouldn't actually try.  

The whole BDSM thing naturally has a place. Lots of people get turned on by various variations of being tied down and restrained - including the men! However, can also be a big turn-off. Fake doms and people who want to disrespect and degrade ladies watch out. 

Man - feet against chest as I suck them, me tied in a chair while women have sex in front of me, group of oiled up men and women rubbing all over eachother, being tied down and blindfolded, being submissive while dressed in ladies clothing, being touched and played with outside, watching a women have sex while she looks just at me, fantasy of being tied and teased for hours

Lady - being called "good girl" and "own you" but only from select people, thinking about being tied and subjected to pleasurable pain.

So what about your turn-on's and turn-off's?

Did you have any of the above in your top 2 or 3?  Would love to hear of more in the comments (you can type and name and your email won't show.) 

One thing - did you focus on what turns you on when looking and thinking of others?  Or did you focus on what you like having done to you?  I didn't specify and it was interesting seeing which people answered in either way. No right or wrong but it does say something about your sexual personality. 

1 comment


  • Sometimes we don’t get a chance to remove the socks..😈

    HF on

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